December 28, 2012

are you guys getting serious?

"You and your boyfriend have been dating a long time, are you guys getting serious?"

I hate this question. But unfortunately, this was the first thing most of my family members asked this past week.

Normally I just laugh and say "things are going well" and leave it at that, but this holiday season I felt as though this answer wasn't enough. The questions kept coming and included "Have you talked about getting married? Having kids? Is he the one?"

I felt so stuck. I didn't know how to tell them, things are great, but no, we haven't talked about marriage and no he doesn't want kids, or we have been dating a year but that doesn't mean we should be settling down.

Looking back on the week, I know they were just asking because they are family and haven't seen me for a year but it didn't make the questions any easier to answer. Maybe it was the constant reminder that I am 26 and that my "time is ticking" or the fact that I don't know how to answer their questions because I am unsure of the answer myself, but either way, it was extremely uncomfortable.

I know I'm not the only person this happens to when they visit family over the holidays, but why do people feel that they have the right to ask people these personal questions? I do want to get married and have kids one day but now is not the right time.

Do you get asked these questions at family gatherings? Does it bother you when people ask?

December 18, 2012

soul mates

Do you believe in soul mates? I know this may seem like a silly question but it's something that I have been thinking about a lot lately. I used to think that everyone had a soul mate and that nothing would stop two people from being together, but as I grow older (and maybe more cynical?) I am not so sure this is true anymore.

Do I believe in soul mates? Yes, I still very much do- but I don't think we always end up with our soul mates. Life gets messy and we make poor decisions and people move on...things don't always work out the way we plan. I think you can be in love with someone, but it doesn't make them your soul mate. I think a soul mate is someone you think about each and every day, even though you haven't seen them in months, even years. A soul mate is someone you connect with on such a level that you don't even have to think, you can just be. You are your complete self around this person because they already know who you are.

I consider myself lucky to have met such a person. I don't know if everyone gets this opportunity.